Pastor’s wives may sometimes feel overlooked and underappreciated. While a life of ministry is not all about gaining the attention of others, the pastor often has the attention of the congregation much more so than the pastor’s wife. The pastor has a difficult and valuable job to do, but the job of the pastor’s wife is equally important and deserves appreciation!

The pastor’s wife stands as a Godly example to the women of the church, showing grace, elegance, and service to others. She gives her all to her husband and her church asking for nothing in return. It can be easy for the pastor’s wife to feel left out, but we have made a list of great ideas to show your appreciation for your pastor’s wife.

Appreciation For a Godly Example

As a woman, it is such a blessing to have a Godly pastor’s wife to look up to and to turn to for advice. Our pastors’ wives play a much larger role in our churches than we often realize. These ideas will help you and the rest of the congregation show your affection and appreciation for your beloved first lady!

Romans 13: 7“…give honor to whom honor is due.”

The Bible tells us to give honor to whom honor is due and we know that our pastors’ wives are certainly worthy of honor!

Some of these ideas are meant for the whole congregation and some of them are a more personal one-on-one approach to showing your gratitude!

15 Wonderful Ways to Show Appreciation for Your Pastor’s Wife

  • Pastor’s Wife Appreciation Day

Your pastor’s wife spends most of her days lending a listening ear to her husband who puts the majority of his attention towards the ministry, caring for her children and her home, and setting a Godly example for the rest of the women in the church.

Holding a special day within the church specifically for your pastor’s wife is a great way to show your love and appreciation for the woman of God in your congregation and a time for the whole church to gather together to honor a woman who deserves honor.

Ideas for the celebration:

  • Decorate the fellowship hall and have a special table set up just for the pastor’s wife and her husband.
  • One great idea is to ask your pastor to serve his wife during the celebration.
    • Have your pastor make her plate for dinner and bring it to her table.
    • Have the pastor get her drinks and dessert.
      • If your pastor is willing, this is a fun time for him to serve his wife in the way that she usually serves him.
  • Have a table reserved for gifts from the congregation to show appreciation for the first lady.
    • The gifts don’t have to be fancy or extravagant, but heartfelt.
      • You never know just how much of a difference even the smallest of gifts could mean to your pastor’s wife.
  • Let Her Know You are Praying for Her

This may sound simple, and that’s because it is, but never underestimate the power of prayer and never underestimate the impact of knowing that someone is praying for you!

Just simply telling your pastor’s wife that you are praying for her could mean more to her than you know. Be sure to take a moment to ask her if there is anything specific that you can pray about for her. Sometimes, she might feel discouraged. Hearing that her someone is praying will certainly lighten her heavy load.

  • Host a Special Potluck Dinner

Potluck dinners are always a great way to get the church together in celebration and what better way to show gratitude for your pastor’s wife than by holding a special potluck dinner in her honor?

There is nothing that compares to the delicious food found at a church potluck dinner!

A few suggestions:

  • Let the pastor’s wife be the first to get her food
  • don’t forget to save the best slice of pie for her
  • take up a secret love offering from the congregation to be presented to the pastor’s wife at the end of the evening
  • Offer to Watch Her Children for a Date-Night

If you pastor and his wife have small children, most of her days and nights are spent caring for them and she probably doesn’t have much free time to spend with just she and her husband.

Offer to take care of the children for a night so that she and her husband can have a special night to themselves.


  • if you want, you can make this a monthly thing, to give your pastor and his wife a date night at least once per month
  • get together with some of the other women in the church and each of you choose a month to watch their children for the evening
  • Give Her a Gift Card

Even the smallest gift can make the biggest difference in showing gratitude and thankfulness for your pastor’s wife and giving her a gift card can do just that!

Some suggestions:

  • find out beforehand what are some of her favorite restaurants or stores
  • ask some of the other women in the church to do the same thing
  • Take up a Secret Love Offering

With your pastor’s permission, of course, take up a secret love offering for your pastor’s wife.

You can have someone announce to the church that this morning you all would like to take up an offering for a very special person who is very important to the local church, someone who always gives of their time and energy to benefit the Kingdom of God, and someone who is deserving of this and more, your pastor’s wife!

She will be shocked to hear that she is the special person!

A few tips:

  • You can let the rest of the church in on the little secret, but just be sure they know not to tell the pastor’s wife.
  • Any amount given will be a big blessing.
    • Even just five or ten dollars is a blessing and will add up.
  • Don’t be afraid to give too much.
    • Give whatever the Lord lays on your heart and know that your pastor’s wife deserves this and more for her hard work for her husband and for the congregation.
  • Buy Her a Flower Arrangement

Get together with the women of the church and take up a collection to buy flowers for your lovely pastor’s wife. You can all pitch in to show just how much you care for her. This is a sweet and loving way to convey your most heartfelt gratitude for the difficult and important role that she faithfully and dutifully fulfills.

  • All Expense Paid Day at the Spa

More likely than not, your pastor’s wife has not had a day to herself in quite a while. Most of her days are spent counseling and caring for her husband and children, so having a special day all to herself can be one of the most relaxing and rejuvenating things.

A few tips:

  • Go to the women in the church and tell them that you are organizing a fund to pay for a day at the spa for your pastors wife.
  • Be sure to have someone lined up to care for the pastor’s children that day.
  • Give the Gift of Your Service

Offer your services to your pastor’s wife. Often the gift of your time can mean so much, especially to the one who is always giving of her time to others!

A few tips:

  • Offer to babysit the kids for a night or two.
  • Offer to come and help her with a deep cleaning of the house.
  • Offer to pick up the groceries for a night or two.
  • Offer to cook for the family.
  • Send Your Pastor’s Wife on a Fully-Paid Women’s Conference

This will be a gift that your pastor’s wife is sure to enjoy and remember for years to come. You can take up a collection from the ladies of the church to send your beloved sister in the Lord to a Women’s Conference.

A few tips:

  • Consider keeping this a surprise from her to make it more exciting when you announce it to her.
  • Make plans to help take care of the children during the conference.
  • Consider taking a whole group of ladies from the church so that your pastor’s wife is not alone.
  • Get Her a Card of Appreciation

Never underestimate the small gestures of gratitude like giving her a card of appreciation.
Being a pastor’s wife is often a thankless job and to have a small token of gratitude from you could make a huge difference.

A few tips:

  • Write a note of gratitude about a kind word or gesture from her that touched you during the last week.
  • Let her know that you value her Godly character.
  • Share with her some of her Godly qualities that inspire you.
  • Send an Encouraging Text or Facebook Message

Mostly, we only see our pastors’ wives during service or at church functions, but you can be sure that her work does not stop after those times, on the contrary; most of her work and service is done away from the public eye. She works and toils in her home night and day to make sure that her husband and children are taken care of.

An unexpected word of kindness or encouragement from you will surely uplift her and energize her to do the work that God has set before her.

  • Invite Her Out to Lunch

Inquire about her schedule and set a lunch date between sisters in the Lord! Amidst all of the hectic responsibilities of a pastor’s wife, it can be like a breath of fresh air for her to have a break and have a nice meal and fellowship with a fellow sister in Christ.

  • Throw a Pastor’s Wife Tea Party

We ladies sure love a good tea party. Throwing a tea party at the church for your first lady can be a wonderful way to show you care and a great fellowship opportunity with the women of the church.

A few tips:

  • Of course, tea parties should have tea, but why not other things as well?!
    • Sandwiches (BLT, Tuna salad, ham and cheese, turkey and cheese)
    • cheese cubes (Cheddar, Swiss, Colby-Jack, Pepper-Jack,)
    • baby pickles(Sweet gherkins, baby khosher dills)
    • pasta salad is always great
    • potato salad
    • fruit salad
    • veggie salad(iceburg lettuce, romaine lettuce, arugula, cabbage, carrots, olives, banana peppers, croutons, vinaigrette, italian dressing, thousand island dressing, ranch dressing)
  • Buy Her a Christian Women’s Book or Devotional

The gift of a devotional book not only shows your gratitude, but it will enrich her life for many months and even years to come. Many great women authors who have books that will be a blessing for your pastor’s wife:

Here are a few great Christian women authors and their websites:
1. Prescilla Shirer

2. Lisa Whittle

3. Karen Ehman

5. Lisa Bevere

6. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

7. Lydia Brownback

8. Ruth Chou Simons

9. Lysa TerKeurst

10. Ann Voskamp

God Bless You

However you choose to honor your pastor’s wife, I pray that you are blessed.

I pray that these ideas have helped you to find your own way to show your appreciation and gratitude for the pastor’s wife in your life. May God help us all to give honor where honor is due never to let our gratitude go unnoticed!


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